hello. hello. MAAAAH!

ah, the delights of talking bagels.

im thinking of scanning in some of my pictures and putting them on here.


yay.

i had forgotten how fun it is

to have a song remind you of something.

[blah, boy post.]

anyways, i havent had a song remind me of a boy since seventh grade.
id pretty much convinced myself that i had been fooling myself.

not true.


starlight by muse.

listen to it.

merry chrismukkah

merry?


i guess.

johns switching schools.

i dont think very many people are gonna understand how awful i feel right now.




i love this kid. i love him. i eat lunch w/him every day, and we have bits, and its just fun. hes just fun. hes amazing.



ive never gone through something like this before.
ive never been this close to someone, and i dont know if im gonna be able to survive not seeing him.




i love him.

so send me anything but signals that are mixed

edit[x2]::
we went to the movies.
we couldnt get tickets.
so we didnt go.
i am...


pissed.


***

edit:
he said he was gonna call me to go to the movies.
he still hasnt.

***

or ill grill your face.








tuesday kris was being ever-so-sweet.
wednsday and thursday he was practically ignoring me.
today he gave me pretty much the cutest hug you could possibly get.


i hope you grill your face!


--the oc is my drug, and i am way to fking addicted.

i really want to watch the neverending story

i used to be so obsessed with that movie.

so today after dinner we all went out to the playground, right? and we played outside. we chased eachother around and we swung on the swings and we flew acorns and we laughed and it was so effing fun.

i dont understand... why cant things be fun like that anymore?

were always so serious.

it seems like the only time were actually not serious is when its nearly dark outside.
and when we dont care what people think.

its like... this sort of nostalgic thing.
i grew up w/some of those kids.
and we havent really changed, have we?
i mean, when you cut down to the center of it...
brookes still loud and obnoxious and crazy and somehow tolerable
and shelbys still younger and dramatic and proud
and ronnies still crazy and immature
and im still idealistic and come up with these kinds of things.


i wanted to stay outside for forever.
running around w/them and laughing.
but it got to cold, and it was time for choir anyways.
and so of course it wouldnt last forever.



nothing lasts forever.
i thought about that in human geography today.


in science last year, she told us that in a million years, the building we were standing in would be deteriated and covered in tons of dirt, and something else would be on top of it.


nothing lasts.

books dont last.
music doesnt last.
movies dont last.
machines dont last.

life doesnt last.

so why do we waste it?
why dont we just live it?

i want to shoot kayla

amy and i got ronnie raunchy boxers.
it was a while ago.
at the very begining of the year.
from then on, raunchy boxers were our joke.
weve gotten him another pair of boxers since then.
and were getting him two for christmas.

then his little girlfriend who we hate that needs to suffer just as much as weve all suffered...


got him boxers.